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Ridiculous things do a lot

April 9, 2013

We all know that we do ridiculous things, but sometimes it’s hard to recognise. Here is a lost of  all the things I saw you do when I peered in at your window earlier yesterday:

– Asking someone if they’re OK, then asking them if they’re sure, as if they’re likely to change their answer, desperately hoping they won’t, and being satisfied when they say they are sure, as if the second time means more than the first.

– Being annoyed with people for breathing near you.

– Being annoyed at people for being happy.

– Being annoyed at people for being sad.

– Being annoyed at people for asking you a perfectly reasonable question when you happen to be doing something, which is all the time.

– Trying to sneak out of the kitchen while the kettle is boiling so no one else can ask you to make them tea, even though you have no reason not to do it since requires almost no extra effort on your part.

– Disliking questions regarding where you are going when you are not doing anything you feel particularly secretive about.

– Disliking questions related to what food you are cooking / preparing.

– Spending ages deliberating the pros and cons of products that vary from each other minutely.

– Fearing the law when we are doing absolutely nothing wrong.

– Thinking that you are a good singer and everyone else is a bad singer and demonstrating this to friends who are infuriatingly unwilling to accept that you are, in fact, the best singer who has ever lived.

 

… And I was only watching you for six hours. Think how much worse it is. So, don’t be judging people for that stuff, when you’re all doing the same.

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From → British Culture

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